“He acts like a nice guy hosting a carnival for the kids, while the city goes to hell.”
The Western Commons. The slums. The cow pie of Divinity’s Reach. Only the lowest of the low live here. Well, no.. that’s not true. The lowest of the low live in the Eastern Commons. Everyone under them, live here. You got thieves, lurkers, beggars, brawlers, and commoners. Oh! And a zoo. Got to have a zoo.
Some interesting talk here. Talks about the gods, the Queen, Minister Caudecus, and Cantha. Also some soldiers kill some bandits. Erm.. that last one will make more sense once you read it.
WC01Alleyway Lurker: ‘Ey. You get the message?
Alleyway Lurker (2): Yeah, the kid tipped me off. Here ya go.
Alleyway Lurker: All right. If I like what I see, I’ll pay for more tomorrow.
WC02Barmaid Karlena: The Busted Flagon is looking for part-time bouncer! Previous bar-brawl experience preferred but not required!
Barmaid Karlena: Are you skilled enough to drop a drunken norn? Then the Busted Flagon wants YOU as a part-time bouncer!
WC03Beggar: All donations are tax deductable!
WC04Beggar: Bring me your gently used gold coins and half-full ale mugs!
WC05Beggar: Every little bit helps.
WC06Beggar: Good day. Good day.
WC07Beggar: I accept all gifts with a smile.
WC08Beggar: Money for a poor man?
WC09Beggar: Who says beggars can’t be choosers?
WC10Child: Fighting bandits is hard work.
Child (2): Mmm hmm.
Child: Enjoying your rations, soldier?
Child (2): Mmm hmm.
Child: Good man. We’ll attack the centaurs next.
Child (2): Um, I hear my mom calling me.
WC11Child: I bet I can run faster than you!
WC12Child: I saw this hunter who had a doggie. It was bigger than me, and it said, “Woof!”
WC13Child: Stop right there!
Child (2): In the name of the queen, I demand you surrender!
Child (3): You’ll never take us alive!
Child (4): For Brenner!
Child (4): Pew! Pew! Pew!
Child: Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
Child (4): Agh! Tell my wife I love her!
Child (2): Prepare to die! Bang! Bang!
Child (3): I regret… nothing!
WC14Child: Tonight, I’m going to sneak in and see the queen!
WC15Child: When I grow up, I’m going to be a brave hero!
WC16Citizen: Do you think the gods like helping us? Or do you think it’s a chore for them?
Citizen (2): I suspect it’s as much a chore for them as cleaning the porch is for me.
Citizen: You haven’t cleaned the porch in years.
Citizen (2): Kind of my point.
WC17Citizen: Guess what I heard? The queen rejected another suitor before he even set foot in town.
Citizen (2): Good for her. She’s young. Her life is fine just the way it is.
Citizen: You’ve got to be kidding. You know she doesn’t have a child, right? What if something happens to her? Without a descendant to the throne…
Citizen (2): What? You’re mad that she’s not married and pregnant? She’s your queen. Watch what you’re saying. She knows what she’s doing.
WC18Citizen: How’re you doing?
Citizen (2): The usual. Drinking and fighting.
Citizen: Brawling isn’t ladylike.
Citizen (2): Them’s fightin’ words.
Citizen: Oh, right! Then let me buy you a drink.
Citizen (2): Finally, a guy who understands me. I’ll meet you at the bar after I’ve killed a few bandits.
WC19Citizen: The minister’s a helluva guy spending money on something like that
Citizen (2): He acts like a nice guy hosting a carnival for the kids, while the city goes to hell.
Citizen: You gonna tell me about how kind and generous Queen Jennah is, and what a shame it is she isn’t married yet?
Citizen (2): Keep you voice down.
Citizen (2): You say the wrong thing in the wrong place, and we’re gonna have trouble.
WC20Citizen: Think she had a few ribs removed before she bought that corset?
Citizen (2): You could wear something like that… if you stopped eating. And breathing.
Citizen: Who does she think she is? Anise?
WC21Citizen: You can’t trust those damn norn. They trade with charr!
Citizen (2): This again?
Citizen: It’s nothing personal. I hate everyone.
Citizen (2): You’re a prince among men.
WC22Citizen: You think this is bad, you should try trading with the tengu. Talk about strict!
Citizen (2): Oh, come on. It can’t really be that much of a hassle, can it?
Citizen: Let me put it this way: you know how they say the emperor three all of the nonhumans out of Cantha?
Citizen: He probably got tired of haggling with them!
WC23Divinity Guide: Welcome to Haidryn’s Menagerie!
Divinity Guide: Please refrain from bringing food or drink into the menagerie.
Divinity Guide (about the caged Hawkeye Griffon): Haidryn found this beauty on his last expedition, seemingly abandoned. He carried it back here in his own arms. Hard to imagine someone trying to pick him up today!
Divinity Guide (about the caged Forest Boar): We call this one “the beast”, after he wounded three handlers on his first day here. Don’t worry. Magical shielding and a steady diet of sausages keep him at bay.
Divinity Guide: Zookeeper Haidryn is a famous adventurer. He’s collected animals from all over the world.
Divinity Guide: Even now, he’s searching the wilds for more exotic creatures!
Divinity Guide: Thank you for joining us on this tour of Divinity’s Reach.
WC24Noble: Whoa! (laugh) Did you see that?
Noble: Praise the Six!
WC25Town Crier: I… enjoy pie.
Town Crier: ♪whistling♪
Town Crier: Shouldn’t you be killing things?
Town Crier: ♪humming♪
Town Crier: Move along. Move along
Town Crier: Let’s hear it for the Minister.
Town Crier: (coughing)
Town Crier: Give thanks to the queen.
WC26Town Crier: The sun is high in the sky.
Town Crier: Seek relief in the shade.
Town Crier: Drink plenty of water.
Town Crier: And men, please cover your bald spots.
WC27Worker: (weary laugh) This is one of those days, isn’t it?
WC28Worker: Listen to my advice: never assume you can outrun a wild animal.
WC29Zookeeper (to the caged animals): Hey, did you miss me?
WC30Citizen: I’ve had it.
Citizen (2): Don’t tell me…
Citizen: Mmm hmm.
Citizen (2): That snake!
WC31Poet: Where lies our surcease of sorrow?
Ingolf Roaldson: BEER!
Poet: Where do we find strength for tomorrow?
Ingolf Roaldson: BEER!
Poet: What heals out wounds and numbs our pain? Liquid barley, hops, and grain!
Poet: Barkeep! Fill my pint again!
Ingolf Roaldson: BARKEEP! MORE BEER!
WC32Seraph Soldier: Everyone, raise your mugs in honor of Minister Caudecus!
Citizen: To the minister!
Citizen (2): May he live a long and healthy life!
Seraph Soldier: And long may he host the best festivals in the city!
Seraph Soldier: To Caudecus!
Citizen: To Caudecus!
Citizen (2): To Caudecus!
Citizen (2): Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?
Seraph Soldier: Duty calls. Don’t forget to pay the barkeep.
Citizen: There goes on of Divinity’s finest.